I can't stand even a tiny bit of pressure. I'm probably a bit anxious, but for now, there's no solution. At least I haven't been affected to the point where I can't live my daily life. Masturbation has always been a way for me to relieve stress, but it also comes with a cost.
And that is, lo and behold: porn addiction. Isn't that obvious? Because desires always evolve, and the threshold also increases. To achieve the same feeling, a larger dose is needed because the brain gradually adapts to something it shouldn't adapt to. This is reflected in increasingly extreme tastes. Although my starting point was tentacles, I gradually broadened my horizons. I think this has seriously affected my brain and my attitude towards observing things. But the door has already been welded shut.
In addition to manipulating the joystick, there are a few other places on a man's body that can be manipulated. One of the places I practiced was two black chess pieces. Although the latter two are more feminine, the feeling they bring far surpasses traditional methods. However, this requires training over time for the brain to capture this pleasure.
All of this is just to temporarily escape from what is in front of me. Delaying is necessary, but not gospel. What I mean is that I can't keep postponing it forever. But I also enjoy this process, and I hope it doesn't sound like the end, like an experience machine, right? Actually, it should be similar. The reason I like corruption is also because of this. Fried rice is right. Pursuing pleasure alone probably won't be condemned like this. We can all do it! But the cycle will eventually come full circle, right?
Becoming a woman is a vision or just a coincidence that aligns with being a woman, but it is indeed a goal. We want to be cared for, but now care and love are too expensive and complicated. What should we do? What should we do (again)? But let's not discuss this for now, because it's a bit off track. Even so, why am I pursuing a certain theme?
I must struggle against the idea that the world revolves around me. It's just poisoning people. The word "sonder" must be engraved in my heart, but please also respect yourself. We (maybe) deserve it!
Catharsis: But describing it like this may be a bit exaggerated. But it's also inevitable, isn't it?